Thursday, May 29, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: paying it forward

This morning, I was cut off twice while I was trying to get my kids to school.  I often wonder what is all the rush about?  Why they were nasty to me while I was getting coffee.  Everyday we encounter people who don't realize the face they are putting on. We are in a world of negativity, a world of rushing from one thing to the next and a world of schedules.  How do WE as a whole change the world?  It starts with one person.  

I challenge you to a day of paying it forward.  It feels good to do a good deed, AND it makes someone smile.  So while you are rushing around in the morning, pay for the person behind you at the Duncan Donuts,  write a letter to your neighbor just thanking them or do something nice for someone.  You can bring someone flowers or send a note.   It starts at the individual level.  If we can make one person smile, or have a positive thought.  We are doing our part in making the world a better place.  

First share my blog on facebook, twitter or email.
please tag me in your post and tag at least one other person wishing them a bright shiny day


Share my blog on facebook, twitter or email
please tag me 
tell the world what YOU did to pay it forward
encourage others to do the same

Please pay it forward!!!!!!!!'

I will start it off

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Reflections of HOPE- The start of a healthy journey

When you are suffering from, a death, a diagnosis, a loss of job, low self esteem or weight problems, whatever ails you, your journey must be healthy.  For me, I lost my daughter.  After learning that we would not be bringing her home from the hospital, I remember a nurse.  This nurse knelt down beside my bedside and just listened to me and hugged me.  She had no answers, but she had empathy, compassion, and was so comforting.  I never remembered her name, or her face.  It was a big blur. 

I remember another woman, who was a social worker.  She stood at the door of the room, and wouldn't get close to me.  I always felt she thought she would catch my disease of infant loss.  She just stared at me.  Never answered my questions, never gave me any support what so ever.  She had long brown hair and was medium built.  I always thought she sucked at her job.   

Both of these woman drived me to push out the negative and bring on positive.  Three years later, I was in the same hospital giving birth to my rainbow, Phoebe.  I was full of angst, hope, nerves.... A roller coaster of emotions ran thru me.  Then, a nurse came into my room and asked if it were ok to have another nurse, Amy, come in to say hello.  Apparently, this was the nurse that comforted me three years prior.  

When Amy walked in, her face, name, even the feelings I had, all came flooding back to the surface.  What are the chances of having someone who understood me, remembered me, and never once judged me.  Today, Amy is a dear friend.  I cherish our friendship and I will always be thankful for her putting me on that positive journey.  

Being a life/grief coach, I will always remember these two women.  One for the lack of empathy, and the other full of compassion.  My goal is to make sure my clients are on the healthy path.  It doesn't matter if they remember my name, what matters is that my words and actions only affected them in a positive way. 

Monday, May 26, 2014

Reflections of HOPE- The Baby After the Loss

As most of you know I am driven by a force so great.  My daughter, Madelynn, has taught me so much.  The best thing she has taught me is the ability to smile.  I smile most when I help others see through their clouds.  I love to see others smile and pay it forward.  I love to see the HOPE in everyone. 

This Memorial day, the sun is shining, gentle breeze in the air.  The boys are playing on the computer, daddy is sleeping.  My babies and I were snuggled on the couch.  We call our lil one Sean-ey-poo.  So my 2 year old starting singing, "Sean-ey-poops, dad-dy- poops, mom-my poops..."  I was laughing so hard.  Phoebe continued to name all of our family, "Sammy-poops, Adam poops,"  Just when I thought she was done, she thought for a minute and said, "Maddy- poops!!!" 

So todays blog is to remind everyone that not only does everyone poop, but my living daughter has recognized that she in fact does have a sister.  She has never seen her, never heard her, but somehow she knows she is there.  She knows she is protected and she knows that she is loved.  So today I sit back and smile and know that Maddy is remembered.  

May you all remember your loved ones this Memorial Day too.  

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Reflections of HOPE- Be daring

I made a choice, and I am taking a chance, and I am hopeful my life will change to a positive direction.  

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Reflections of HOPE- My Belief Statement

When you begin on a positive note, there is nothing but positivity to come back to you.  Sometimes you reach a point when you have absolutely NO reason to be positive.  I have been there.  I have been so clouded with guilt, blame, and anger.  I felt so alone, stay in bed all day alone, no bathing, or hygiene concerns, alone.  Until one day I realized I was not alone.  The clouds began to clear, I can see again.  For some it may only be days, but for me, it took 5 years to regain my vision.  I see what my purpose is, what my daughter has been trying to tell me. 
 I decided to listen and take a chance. 

Whether you are suffering from a loved one who has past on, a divorce, a job loss, a bad break up, a sickness.... you can use this belief statement to help you move forward to your goal. or you can choose one of your own.  Here is mine. 


Because I suffer from low self esteem, I am my own worse critic.  I set myself up for failure every single time.  Since, I have been able to "see" again, I have been working on myself and know ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!  

Good luck in all of your challenges each and every day.  Remember there is no shame in seeing life through rose colored glasses.  

Friday, May 23, 2014

Reflections of Hope - a rainbow after a storm

What does "Reflections of Hope" mean to you?  To reflect is a focused consintration of someone or something.  Hope, is the rainbow after the storm.  What is your storm?  Job change, divorce, weight loss, health diagnosis, death of a loved one?  What clouds you the most?  What exactly is your goal or "rainbow?"  
To gain clarity, we are forced to answer some difficult questions.  Ask yourself," How can I be who I want to be, and what are the steps to get there?"

My storm is more of a end of world disaster.  My rainbow seems so far into the future.  However, as the clouds clear it seems easier to reach.  Each day, week, month, I set a new goal to focus on.  I call these focus goals.  My focus goal for today is to only put out in the universe what I expect in return.  Only positive words or phrases for me today.  Enjoy the day friends, it may be raining today but it is sunny in my soul......

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Reflections of Hope - Loss of a Baby- the begining

The loss of a baby is every parents worse fear.  Most of us have no idea it could happen until the doctor slowly turns the monitor away during the ultrasound and says, "I am sorry."  Your world comes crashing down and then you and your significant other realize you are alone.  

You are now either rushed down the hall to deliver your lifeless bundle, or you head to the operating room for emergency c-section.  Some of us the doctor even tells us to go home... GO HOME????  Now you are faced with telling others about your horrific loss.  Maybe even your other children.  How do you begin?  You get back to hospital, and now you are delivering all your hopes and dreams to a silent room.  A room so silent it is deafening.  It is amazing just how loud a silent room can be... Your thoughts scream out,"It's ALL my fault." 

The photographer comes in, flashes pictures that blind your dream sequence.  Hoping to wake up from this nightmare.  Funeral home is called and they whisk your baby away.  Cremate? Bury? Funeral? I just found out my baby died and now we have to make all these decisions.  Wow, and how much does it cost? 

After the hustle and bustle of the immediate decisions, the world continues.  The sun still rises and the sun still sets.  Friends and family go back to work, back to their lives.  You and your husband are alone.  You may run into a few people during your outings at grocery store or post office.  "Hows the baby?"
"It happened for a reason."  "Time will heal all wounds." "Thank God you have other children."

The pain associated with loss of a baby never heals, just gets different.  As time goes on, your wounds are still open, you just learn to accept that it is NOT your fault, and yes thank God I have other children, however it never replaces the one that died.