Friday, June 27, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: 5 ways to stay happy

We go through our trials and tribulations in life and sometimes it is so hard to put a smile on our faces.  I am giving you 
5 ways that I stay happy.  

1)  Learn to say NO!

This is probably the most important.  Putting yourself FIRST!  Some of you who are selfish by nature this does not apply too.  For the rest of us,  we tend to be people pleasing, and help everyone but ourselves.  What happens is you wear yourself down to the point of no return.   You could start to be depressed, have low self esteem, fatigue and stressed.  This can lead to high blood pressure and other medical conditions.  Learn to say no and you will have more time and energy for you!

2) Surround yourself with positive people.

This is a no brainer.  When we surround ourselves with positive people we tend to mimic their actions.  We tend to be more confident and less stressed.  We tend to be more successful in our everyday life.  When people boost us up, we become confident!!!

3) Eat clean.

Eating clean mean nothing fried or processed.  Eating clean can give us more energy and make us feel better about ourselves.  Getting the right amount of fruits and veggies each day will help with your overall health.  Eating low carbs and high protein will help with energy as well.

4) Drinking your water.

Everyone goes by the basis of 8 glasses of 8 ozs a day.  I feel this is wrong.  You should be drinking one half your body weight in ounces a day.  So if you are 120 pounds you should drink 60 ounces, 200 pounds drink 100 ounces.  You get the point.  This helps with keeping your skin hydrated and it also boosts your metabolism.

5) Keeping organized 

Helps with staying happy.  Well it does for me!  If you are organized in your thoughts and in your home, you will tend to be more organized in everyday living.  This will take less time to get ready in morning, less time to clean, less time to run errands, less time to get confused and distracted.  If you have a goal, being organized is the first step in reaching that goal.  Developing a strategic plan will help ensure your goal is met with the least amount of time..

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: being positive

Look forward, start each day with a positive outlook.... Don't let people bring you down and remember to smile.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: moving forward

 "Learn to incorporate the past into your present.  For example, when my daughter died, I felt so raw with emotion.  I decided to stop living in the darkness and incorporate her into my everyday living. This takes time and patience.  Do not beat yourself up if this doesn't happen right away, this took me years to understand how, but now she is apart of my everyday, my light, my reflection of hope." 

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: Positive life

Living a positive life certainly has its challenges.  When we are caught up in everyday hustle and bustle, we tend to mimic what others do. 

 I challenge you to change the world with me.  It seems like a huge task, however it starts with just one person. 


 When someone asks you,"how are you today?

don't just reply with something like the hum drum 

"I am ok"....

Instead say,

" I am SUPER Fantastic today thank you, how are you?"  

I guarantee you that you will put a smile on that persons face... 


WHO IS IN???? 

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: Top 5 gifts to give a bereaved father on Father's Day

Top 5 gifts to give a bereaved father on 
Fathers Day!

1.  Your Time
a bereaved father wants to just spend time with loved ones, keep him busy, golf, fishing...

2. Your Patience
a bereaved father needs you to have patience, if he is not feeling up to company or even not sure what he wants to do, he is spiraling. 

3. Your Support
a bereaved father needs support.  Support to help him with whatever he needs.

4. Your Forgiveness
a bereaved father needs your forgiveness.  He may look, feel depressed today.  It is ok.  He is not whole, a piece of him is missing.  Give him a chance.  Forgive him if he says or does something that is out of character. 

5.  For you to Remember
This is the MOST important.  Please do not forget, let him know you are here for him, He may seem happy but on the inside he is hurting.  Just remembering why today is a tough day would mean the world to him.  Mention his baby's name!!!

* Please also remember the dad who lost his FIRST baby.  It doesn't matter where your baby lives, you are still a dad.  
* Please also remember the friends that lost their dad, grandfather, today is especially hard on them today as well.  

Friday, June 13, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: What to say, What NOT to say in any situation

How to help in ANY situation...

#1- When you are faced with what to say when your friends child passes away.....

You CAN say-
"I am so sorry, let me bring you dinner tonight"
"I have no words, I am so sorry, would you like to grab coffee and share your baby with me"
"Do you have pictures or momentos that you would like to share, I would love to see them."

"It was meant to be"  (what you are really saying is, "your child doesn't matter")
"God needed another Angel" (what you are really saying is, "Its ok, that your baby died, and it doesnt matter that YOU needed another baby)
"Thank God, you have other children" (what you are really saying is," this one didn't matter, my rebuttle to this is... ok, so which one of your kids can you live without?)
"Time heals all wounds" ( what your really saying is in time you won't care anymore that your baby died... )(the truth, is in time you learn to live with your child in heaven)
"oh, no, my grandmother died last year, I know how you are feeling" (no one can relate to the loss of a child unless you have lost a child yourself.  The death of a baby is the worse death) 

#2- When you are faced with a diagnosis or addiction......

You CAN say-
"I am so sorry, help me learn what is best for you"
"Lets do coffee, we can chat and you can get a few things off your chest"
"What are your next steps, How can I help?"

"oh I am so sorry you were diagnosed with diabetes, wanna go get a pint of ice cream, that always helps me feel better" (People just do not understand that you can't have sugar or limited sugar)
"My uncle died of cancer.... so sad.  Sorry about your diagnosis." ( people try to relate and say things that are irrevelent and may tend to hurt you.  Your diagnosis is not a death sentence it is a diagnosis and is being treated. Keeping a positive attitude can help a stressful situation) 
"Your son will get better, you just need to get 2nd, 3rd opinions...." ( Don't you think that I already did 2nd and 3rd opinions?  Please know that no one can parent my child any better then me, TRUST ME)
"Pot is not a gateway drug" (for some it is. period.) 

Please just be aware of what you say to someone.... You never know what they are faced with and what challenges they deal with everyday.  

To the married couple:

I am so sorry that people are ignorant and don't understand the tragedy of infertility, I understand that everyone always asks... When are you going to have children of your own? or How many kids do you have?  I will never make you feel uncomfortable. 

To the woman who lost a baby:

You gave birth to a baby, your son/daughter, and I am sorry when mothers day rolls around, people tend to forget that you have a precious baby in heaven.  I will never forget you.  

To the father that lost a baby: 

I am so sorry,  people always tend to ask how is your wife, and never ever have asked how you are.  I will never forget you.  

To the family who lost a baby:

I am so sorry that sometimes the teachers, students, friends, neighbors just do not understand.  I promise I will provide a healthy and safe atmosphere for you and allow you to always talk to me when you are having an emotional day or any day..I will always remember. 

To the men and woman who were just diagnosed with a disease:

I am so sorry for other people who use you as an excuse to get a better deal, or to have someone take pity on them.  Your diagnosis is not a tool for other people to get ahead in life.  Your diagnosis is strength, courage, and hope!  I am so sorry these people do not understand and offer no value.  I will always be here to be a sounding board for you to rid the negative emotions from your soul.  You NEED to stay positive for YOU and I will always stay positive when you find it difficult.  

To the men and women who are struggling with addiction:

I am sorry for the people who judge you, who do not understand or give you a chance.  They do not understand that addiction is just like a diagnosis of a deadly disease but with your positive attitude and the strength to move forward you will beat the disease.  I am mostly sorry for the people who don't trust even when you show all effort in remaining clean.  I support you and will be here each and every day that you beat this disease!!!! 



Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: Names in the Sand

Seeing my daughters name in the sand, brings me peace.   I occasionally go to the beach and write names of our loved ones in the sand.  I read their name, close my eyes and reflect for a moment.  
I then find a spot, without disturbing where all the nature falls, (rocks, seaweed, shells) and I write their name.   I try to have a moment for each person.  If you know of someone who has passed, go to the beach, write their name and frame it.  Give it to the family of the deceased and it will be a gift that they cherish forever. 

Monday, June 9, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: 7 Steps to a life of fulfillment

Life of Fulfillment
7 Steps to Greater Life Fulfillment
Have you ever asked yourself what it means to be fulfilled? According to the Wordbook Dictionary, “fulfilled” means to be “completed to perfection.” When you reach the state of fulfillment, there is literally nothing more you want or could ask for. You believe you have everything that sustains you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Practice these strategies to increase your feelings of fulfillment:

1. Listen to your internal self. Recognize that how you want your life to be is more important than anyone else’s ideas, dreams, or advice for your future. What do you say to yourself? Your thoughts and feelings matter greatly.

2. Find a way to get paid for doing what makes you happy. Because work is one-third or more of your life, loving your work is integral to living a fulfilled existence. Refrain from worrying about what others think of your job.
If your career piques your interest, gets you excited, imparts new knowledge, and builds your self-confidence, you have a winner.
In the event you feel you’ve gone a bit stale on your job, ask yourself, what do you love to do? Work with numbers? Paint a picture? Write children’s stories? When you think about it, you might be able to develop an income stream from doing those things.

3. Investigate your options. When a chance to make life-changing decisions comes your way, how do you handle it? A thorough review of each option will help you imagine how you’ll be affected if you choose that avenue.
Make it a point to examine options that can open up your life in ways you
have yet to consider. This is your chance to discover how to move closer toward personal success and a life that is more enriching than you ever dreamed of.

4. If you require more education or training, do it without hesitation. Many let their age get in the way of additional knowledge-building or say they lack the time necessary. But if you want fulfillment, it’s important to move forward in ways that deliver what you really want to achieve in life. So, go ahead and take that course, training, or skill-building seminar.

5. Choose positivity. Make a conscious decision as soon as you wake up to have a positive attitude and make today the best day ever.
You get to decide how you’ll handle the disaster of the moment. Will you lose your edge or carry through to the best resolution possible?

6. Treat others how you’d like to be treated. One of the most challenging things about life is to realize what goes around comes around. If you consistently look for the good in others, ignore the less-than-positive in them, and send out empathy and respect, the rewards you receive back will be great.

7. Find a role model. It can be incredibly life-enhancing to discover an individual that behaves in ways that you honor and respect. Dream big when it comes to deciding who you want to be like.
People like Nelson Mandela, Joseph Campbell, the Dalai Lama, or Billy Graham can provide you with a wonderful personal pathway to follow.
However, maybe your grandfather, Aunt Mary, or a neighbor who has more love for others than you can imagine also provide beautiful examples of the person you want to be.
Whatever the case, having an image in your mind of someone you believe is a fascinating individual provides a direction for you to work toward.

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Applying these methods will help you create a life that pleases you. Your life is an adventure that you can live with intention, a penchant for discovery, and challenge. Make each day count, starting now. Your fulfilling life awaits you. 

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: Respect


Rule number two:  See rule number one.  

Picture this, you child comes in the door so excited to tell you about his/her day at school.  You are cutting carrots in the kitchen.  What do you do, say hi hun how was your day? (while still cutting carrots) or do you put down everything and listen to how there day was?

I am being honest here, I always multitasked, until I realized I am not giving my 100% to my child.  

Picture this one as well, your husband/wife comes home from work and you are on the computer.  You barely look up to say hello.  Put all electronics down, turn off the football game and have conversation.  

My challenge to you this week is to try to do this.  I would love to hear feedback and see how you all did.  But remember, respect will start the other person on a positive day.  Try to change the world with me.  It is easy it starts with you!!!! 

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: Time to Reflect

I reflect every wednesday.  I think about the past week.  The lives I changed, the conversations I had.  I even think about what challenges I faced, what did I do about them and how to make them better next week.  What can you do better next week?  Think about all the people you come into contact with on any given day.  I bet you come into contact with at least 25 people in one day, if not more.  That is 25 people that lives could have an "ah ha" moment when they come into contact with you.
You are a good person, you are smart, you have a great personality, you can change 25 lives today.  Tell yourself this over and over and before you know it you will be changing the world.   The FIRST person who needs to be positive is YOU. 

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: Don't loose hope

Whatever your struggle, remember I am here to support you.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Start today, to better yourself, to stop the lies and to move forward in a positive direction.  Day by day we will get through, together.  I am making a choice, a choice to be here, for you.  Please don't loose hope.  Don't loose hope in yourself.  Don't loose hope in me.