Friday, September 19, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: Bittersweetness


I have been meaning to write about this scenario.  We lost Maddy in 2009.  Phoebe was born in 2012.  There is no way the two sisters have EVER met, unless you believe the big ole' playground in the sky has many spirits and angels that interact.  How do you feel about the after life?  Here is what happened.....

One of my dearest friends came over with a gift for Phoebe.  There was 2 porcelain dolls that were absolutely beautiful.  They both had linen and lace dresses, with a beautiful bonnet.  There was a sense about these dolls.  Colleen's mother, who bought the dolls, passed them up a few times before taking the plunge to buy them.  They were resting in a second hand shop.  When Mrs. C saw the beauties, she knew she wanted them but didn't know right away who to buy them for.  Once Phoebe had the dolls in her possession, she immediately decided to name them Maddy and Phoebe.  She proceeded to tell me that they are sisters that play together.  Phoebe has been putting the babies to sleep, taking them for a stroll, and talking to them everyday.

She started talking to Maddy's photos on the wall, even more intently.  I found Phoebe dancing and singing while she plays, talks and laughs all by herself.  If Phoebe notices anyone looking at her during this time, she immediately gets offended.  She will scream, NOOOOO and make us leave her alone.  I can't help but wonder, what if?

The past few weeks, I have been feeling more connected to Maddy for some reason.   I am not sure why she died, but she did and now this is the relationship that we have.  I am so memorized that Phoebe acts like Maddy is here, in the flesh.  I am so glad we found a way to incorporate my first daughter, in our daily lives and I am even more honored that my children feel her.

Reflections of HOPE: How to be a reflection