Sunday, July 27, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: 5 Gift giving ideas yourself to refresh your soul

When was the last time you gave yourself a gift?

Here are 5 gifts you can give yourself to refresh your soul

1) Send a letter to yourself.  I mean it.... actually write a letter about what accomplishments make you the most proud.  Also add in the letter about what 3 goals you want to accomplish this year.  Think about your game plan and how to get these goals into action.  Then self address stamp the envelope and give to a friend.  Let them decide when to mail it.  When you get your mail, it is a simple reminder of how awesome you really are.  

2) Drink water.  You should be drinking 1/2 your body weight in oz a day.  This helps with flushing out toxins and you feel better about yourself.  Your skin will glow. 

3) Go for a walk.  A walk could be refreshing.  I always walk by the ocean.  It is a place of reflection.  As the waves come into the shore, I breath in, and breathe out as the water goes back to sea.  I often think of my dreams, goals and desires during this time.  I feel more open to change, to better myself and to organize my thoughts.  

4) Get together with an old friend.  Everyone is so busy that it is so hard to take time for each other.  Today is the day to make time.  Tell your loved ones you love them.  Hug them and chat about the past and present.  Hold onto the laughter.  It can be super refreshing to remember old times as well as cherishing the new.  

5) Have a bon fire with your besties.  Each one can write the things they want to change about themselves or that they want to get off their chest.  Write it on a piece of paper and set it on fire.  All the burdens on our shoulder will get lighter and lighter with each note.  

Remember to love yourself. :) 

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: Make someones day

Kindness is addictive.  Give someone a smile today!!!!!
Spread the positive energy! 
Enjoy your day peeps. 

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: What does that mean? 3 Steps to finding your reflection of hope

Reflections of HOPE.... What is it to you? 3 Steps to finding your reflection of hope.

I was walking around a lake and peeked into the water hoping to find fish or a frog or something to show the kids.  When I bent over I saw a woman that I am not familiar with.  She had her hair back in a pony tail, her skin was weathered.  She looked desperate.  Desperate to find some meaning to where her life is now.  That woman was me.  It has been a loonnngggg journey.   Learning to live with the "new me" has its challenges and its rewards.

Five years ago, our life was shattered.  ALL of our hopes and dreams were all just emptied at the blink of an eye.  Whatever your challenge.... divorce, a loss, addiction, a diagnosis.... all of us lived a certain way, then at the blink of an eye our life is changed.  FOREVER.  I will always be known for Madelynn's mother, you would always be know for Mrs. so and so, or the alcoholic, drug addict, or the person who has a horrible disease.

It is OUR CHOICE, to live in the negative, the poor me I am always a victim lifestyle or you can just get to know the new you and learn to like and appreciate yourself.

Step one: acknowledge your moment.  
Whatever the case....
If you are getting divorced... Remember that there was that one day a long time ago that you loved that man/or woman.  If you have children, remember your child would not be who he or she is without the two of you.  Your spouse may be not the same person you married and you may have grown apart.  But always remember to embrace the time you had together because YOU would not be the same person without each other.  This is the same for loss, addiction and a diagnosis...You will not be the same with or without it....

Step two: The transformation
Gather photos of who you were before the loss, diagnosis, addiction or divorce, and then start to gather pictures of during, and after.  We tend to wear worry on our face.  During our triumphs, we tend to be in denial but pictures say 1,000 words otherwise.
Start to try to envision what you WANT to look like.  Try to envision your face, without the worry, how high you want to hold your shoulders,  or even your strides when you walk.  This is the Reflection stage and the picture in which you are envisioning is your HOPE.

Step Three: The butterfly effect.
Once you get your strength and confidence, you are able to put what you were envisioning into a plan that works for you.  Only you can decide what plan that is.  One the other side of depression, is a beautiful effect.  You can see through the clouds, you can dance in the rain.  Your confidence soars higher then the clouds.  You learn to appreciate your loss, your ex, your diagnosis and addiction.  Because without them, you would not be the person you are today.  Your ability to transform into the butterfly that you are!!!!!

As for me, I am a work in progress.  I am holding onto hope everyday.  My hope is you can do the same :)

FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!! What is your reflection of hope? or the steps to take for it?

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: 5 ways to BOOST your confidence

5 ways to BOOST your confidence 

1. Think about someone who is confident and act, talk and walk like him or her. Mirror their  behavior. It works for them; it will work for you. 

2.  Be in charge of your thoughts at all times.  If you are thinking negative thoughts, you act like you are thinking negative thoughts.  Smile before picking up the phone, and change your thinking to positive more confident approach.  Whenever you have a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK and say, " Is this really important in the grand scheme of things?"   

3. Learn how to say no to people. Don’t be afraid, if you are like me, you want to please everyone and then you have no one to be there for you.  Try to put YOU first, then help others.   

4. Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future. 

5. And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in 10 or 20 years time – will what I am worrying about really matter? 

If you leave notes for your loved ones they respond more positively and in return will boost your confidence, and live happier days.  Dont forget to leave a note for yourself.  Remind yourself, you are beautiful, you are smart, and you can achieve any challenge you put out there for yourself!!!!!  

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: Holding onto anger

Holding onto anger is something we are all guilty of.  However, holding onto anger doesn't make the situation any better, it only makes you feel worse.  Let it go, because its not about you and them.  Let it go, because you will feel better.  Let it go because your thoughts are clouded and you are blaming everyone and not seeing through the clouds.  Let it go, because you are loved and the stress is just not worth it.  Stop and think, if you are both wrong work together to mend the relationship, try to compromise and not hurt other relationships in the progress.  You are not wrong for feeling the way you do, just remember you are loved.  

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: the transformation


I was sitting on my deck yesterday and saw a beautiful tiger swallowtail butterfly.  I began to think of the journey this butterfly was on.

The Caterpillar stage, eats and eats to build strength.  He tries to stay hidden from the various birds and crows that try to call him lunch.  He tries to blend in, pulls a leaf over his head, and eats some more.  It is a true struggle being a Caterpillar.  Facing fears, inching along, and trying to survive.  The Caterpillar stage reminds me of our demons, we try to stay hidden from the crows or dangers of our demons.  Sometimes the Caterpillar gives up because the struggle is too much to survive.  The goal to any Caterpillar it to gain strength, and security in a cocoon.

The cocoon stage is the safe stage.  We have learned to say no.  We have learned to cope with our past.  We have embraced our future.  The cocoon stage is where we need to get to, to embrace hope for a better future.  This stage is the longest.  It answers all the questions we may have, builds confidence, and even begins to map out what our future looks like.  This stage can take all the time they need to figure out what exactly they need to be and where they need to go...

The final stage is the transformation.  This is when we have achieved all of our goals.  This is the safe place within us that understands our path, our journey.  It is filled with inner peace, and reflection.  It allows us to soar above the trees to a better greatness.  This final stage is knowing who we really are and embracing the journey of where we have been.

Understanding the journey makes the final transformation stage worth living........ 

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Reflections of HOPE: 5 ways to boost yourself up after loosing confidence

5 ways to boost yourself up after loosing confidence

1) talk in the mirror.  Tell yourself, if you believe you can achieve.  Tell yourself you are beautiful and you are smart.  Tell yourself that you can recognize the triggers and walk away.  Tell yourself you are too important to not put first.  The more you believe it, the more your confidence will build up.  You are WORTH IT.

2) Give yourself a healthy gift.  Join a gym, get a yogurt smoothie, get a mani pedi.  Make yourself feel good by doing something healthy.  Go for a walk on beach, have a picnic!  These things make you appreciate life!

3) Pay it Forward.  Doing good for someone else always makes us feel good!  Pay for someones coffee or toll on parkway...:)

4) Get a job.  Working helps keep our mind off of things.  Get a job, or two and work your butt off.  This will make you feel important because someone is relying on you to be responsible.

5) Volunteer at your local non-profit!  This will help by giving back to the community.

Surround yourself with positive people and remember to call someone when you feel weak.  
If you stay positive, know your triggers, and stay healthy, you are on the road to recovery.  Day by day.