Reflections of HOPE: Bittersweetness

Bittersweetness

I have been meaning to write about this scenario.  We lost Maddy in 2009.  Phoebe was born in 2012.  There is no way the two sisters have EVER met, unless you believe the big ole' playground in the sky has many spirits and angels that interact.  How do you feel about the after life?  Here is what happened.....

One of my dearest friends came over with a gift for Phoebe.  There was 2 porcelain dolls that were absolutely beautiful.  They both had linen and lace dresses, with a beautiful bonnet.  There was a sense about these dolls.  Colleen's mother, who bought the dolls, passed them up a few times before taking the plunge to buy them.  They were resting in a second hand shop.  When Mrs. C saw the beauties, she knew she wanted them but didn't know right away who to buy them for.  Once Phoebe had the dolls in her possession, she immediately decided to name them Maddy and Phoebe.  She proceeded to tell me that they are sisters that play together.  Phoebe has been putting the babies to sleep, taking them for a stroll, and talking to them everyday.

She started talking to Maddy's photos on the wall, even more intently.  I found Phoebe dancing and singing while she plays, talks and laughs all by herself.  If Phoebe notices anyone looking at her during this time, she immediately gets offended.  She will scream, NOOOOO and make us leave her alone.  I can't help but wonder, what if?

The past few weeks, I have been feeling more connected to Maddy for some reason.   I am not sure why she died, but she did and now this is the relationship that we have.  I am so memorized that Phoebe acts like Maddy is here, in the flesh.  I am so glad we found a way to incorporate my first daughter, in our daily lives and I am even more honored that my children feel her.

Reflections of HOPE: How to be a reflection

Reflections of HOPE: First step on being positive....

Being Positive

Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.

Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. 

What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is you’re answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.

Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and say is this really important in the grand scheme of things?

Do you let the words of others affect you? Do you mind what they think of you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem.

  Change the way you think.

Reflections of HOPE- Change is GOOD

What is the biggest change you would like to make in your life?  

Do you have enough support to do it right?

I can help.  www.margaretsreflectionofhope.com

Think about it, you can be or do anything your heart desires.

What are your desires?

Are you happy? 

After every rainstorm, if there is light, you will transform into a beautiful rainbow.....

Reflections of HOPE: Embracing the Ride

What is the worst roller coaster ride in your life?

Divorce? a diagnosis? death of a loved one? loss of a job or security?

Whatever troubles you, you MUST embrace the ride.  

Step 1- get on ride, when you are forced to face your fears, it is best to just get on with it.  Go through the motions.

Step 2- safety belt.  Make sure your ride is safe, Don't seek out a blindfold or anything that can make the ride easier to handle.  In order to get to the end of the journey you must start at the beginning. 

Step 3- when the coaster is climbing up the hill, dig your feet in to the ground, usually anticipation is far worse then the actual drop.  

Step 4- Enjoy the easy parts.  Let yourself smile, and feel the wind blowing in your hair.  Give yourself credit for coming this far. 

Step 5- When the coaster is full of twist and turns and sometimes knocking you around, just hold on.  Each day you are on this coaster, the more strong you become.  Remember these times, embrace them.  

The Final Step- When you get off the ride, you realize it wasn't that bad.  But the truth is, its devastating. It is a horrible ride, one you would never have your worse enemy go on.  You now realize, the ride sucks and will never change, but we change and we get more tolerant to these quick twists and upside down feelings....

In order to heal, embrace the ride.

Reflections of HOPE: Letting GO!

Are you holding onto something / someone from your past?

What good is it to hold on?  Even in the movie the Titanic, Grace let Jack go, after saying," I will never let you go."  

So what does it all mean?  

For me... we always hold onto loved ones that have passed.  I believe that death is not a goodbye its a see you later.  Heaven is not that far away, and until you can understand the capabilities of our loved ones who have crossed over, will you then begin to understand you can still have a relationship on a spiritual level.  I kind of look at it this way... I live in NJ and I have family in Florida, Washington, New York and in Heaven.... 

I will never let my daughter go in my heart, however I have let go and let her guide me to understand what my life was meant to be... 

Reflections of HOPE: 5 Gift giving ideas yourself to refresh your soul

When was the last time you gave yourself a gift?

Here are 5 gifts you can give yourself to refresh your soul

1) Send a letter to yourself.  I mean it.... actually write a letter about what accomplishments make you the most proud.  Also add in the letter about what 3 goals you want to accomplish this year.  Think about your game plan and how to get these goals into action.  Then self address stamp the envelope and give to a friend.  Let them decide when to mail it.  When you get your mail, it is a simple reminder of how awesome you really are.  

2) Drink water.  You should be drinking 1/2 your body weight in oz a day.  This helps with flushing out toxins and you feel better about yourself.  Your skin will glow. 

3) Go for a walk.  A walk could be refreshing.  I always walk by the ocean.  It is a place of reflection.  As the waves come into the shore, I breath in, and breathe out as the water goes back to sea.  I often think of my dreams, goals and desires during this time.  I feel more open to change, to better myself and to organize my thoughts.  

4) Get together with an old friend.  Everyone is so busy that it is so hard to take time for each other.  Today is the day to make time.  Tell your loved ones you love them.  Hug them and chat about the past and present.  Hold onto the laughter.  It can be super refreshing to remember old times as well as cherishing the new.  

5) Have a bon fire with your besties.  Each one can write the things they want to change about themselves or that they want to get off their chest.  Write it on a piece of paper and set it on fire.  All the burdens on our shoulder will get lighter and lighter with each note.  

Remember to love yourself. :)